incest
why so many themes of incest
why
it’s like an oedipus complex except homosexual
and kass’s mother is dead
and then theres ayda and her foster brother
and then theres rosaline and thats just a mindfuck
incest
why do i write so much incest
- Rosaline: So
- Rosaline: Last night after my match, this mangy dog walked up to the backdoor
- Rosaline: And some of the guys wanted to kick it and flick their cigarettes on it.
- Rosaline: And I got so fucking mad that I started to scream that if they touched that dog i would fucking rip their balls off and then kill them and then feed them to the dog and that i would talk to my granny who was a witch and she would curse them so that their souls went to hell to become Satan's boink bitches for all of eternity.
- Esther: ....
- Esther wowie wow wow
- Rosaline: I WAS SO FUCKIN MAD
- Esther: You have anger issues
- Rosaline: And you have mental issues so we're even
Chiqi demanded her breakfast as she did every morning: by jumping on her human-slave’s slumbering form and digging her claws into the soft flesh under her paws. Because Chiqi was a cat, she figured that it was her role in life to be pampered— and Rosaline certainly pampered her. There were days that Chiqi would eat warm scrambled eggs with her cat food, days that she would lap clotted cream from a bowl.
Rosaline woke to pinpricks in her arm, and rolled off of the couch that she slept on— careful not to injure her cat. She yawned and rubbed the dark stubble that covered one side of her head. “Hey-hey cosita,” she murmured as Chiqi purred and waited for her breakfast. The cat arched her back as Rosaline rubbed her fingers against the soft fur.
Already the small kitchen that connected to the living room where Rosaline slept was bustling with morning activity. The digital clock on the DVD player read 7:56 am. Far too early for a semi-nocturnal being like Rosaline. She had been out boxing until midnight, and didn’t need to arrive at the gym until 11. With a sense of futility, she gave Chiqi another rub, then stood to meet her housemates.
“Morning,” she said with a yawn, meandering toward the table where Esther and Kassidy sat. Ayda had already left— school started at eight— and Casey would snore in her messy bed until it was time for her yoga class. The light hurt her eyes. Chiqi wove in and out around her feet with every step, and it was with some difficulty that she sat down at the table.
“Hi morning glory,” said Esther, who had obviously slept very little that night. Rosaline found herself upset at the dark circles beneath her friend’s protuberant eyes. They were like purple bruises on her pale skin. She made a mental note to bring the topic up with Esther the next time that Kassidy wasn’t tagging along with them like a leech.
The cat jumped up on the table to stick her nose in Esther’s cereal bowl. Kassidy’s lips turned white.
“Look at that sweetheart,” Rosaline said fondly, with a nasty darting look at the medical student. Esther laughed as Chiqi lapped at the leftover milk in her bowl, petting the small animal with the frightened gentleness of a girl who is afraid of hurting someone. “She loves you more than she loves me.”
“Aww, I wouldn’t say that,” said Esther, blushing. She giggled again when Chiqi pushed a soft paw against the bowl, as if asking for more.
Kassidy stood up to drop her coffee mug in the sink.
“Wow, rude,” said Rosaline.
“I hope you aren’t talkin to me,” said Kassidy. She adjusted her lipstick, which made her thin lips look like a bloody gash in her pale face.
“No,” said Rosaline in a tone that she hoped would express her sarcasm. “I was ‘talkin’ to the cat.” Esther giggled and put her hands over her mouth like a child.
“Oh, ok,” Kassidy shouldered her purse in preparation to run out the door. “Well, I guess you’re right then. You shouldn’t let her jump on the table like that.” With that oblivious retort, she hurried out or the kitchen, leaving Esther and Rosaline in the fog of her perfume.
“Wow,” Rosaline said again. Esther tried to stifle her giggles.
“Wanna make out?”
_____________________
lmfao how obvious is it that i gave up on this
- *le after Esther freaks the fuck out on Jack in her grocery-store job because she thinks that he is a fairy or something that is trying to kill her*
- JACK: OH MY GOD
- JACK: HOLY PONY VAMPIRE ALLAH
- JACK: wait is that offensive did I just offend you oh my god i am so sorry i am such a dumb racist sometimes oh my god sorry ma'am uh i mean miss wait how old--no uh sorry i'll shut up now.
- AYDA: ohoho
- CASEY: be careful dude
- CASEY: do you know what she's got under that scarf?
- JACK: ....hair?
- CASEY: NO, SNAKES THAT WILL TURN YOU INTO STONE IF YOU LOOK AT HER WITH LUST YOU TESTOSTERONE DRIVEN HEATHEN
- JACK: oh my god i'm sorry did i annoy you i'm really bad around girls-- WAIT no kidding, i have so much sex, i fuck all the girls
- JACK: WAIT IS THAT OFFENSIVE?
- KASSIDY: jesus fuckin christ
- ROSALINE: wOW you sure are suave, kid
- ROSALINE: And by suave, I mean you probably have a dick the size of Kass's soul that you seduce allll the ladies with
- ROSALINE: Even the gay ladies
- ROSALINE: Especially the gay ladies. That's why my girlfriend tried to kill you an hour ago. Your swag was just too high for her.
- AYDA: Rosie stop being mean, he's like 16 or something
- JACK....I'm 18
- AYDA: ......
- AYDA: Yeah we're all over five years your elder
- JACK: dldgjlgkfg
- CASEY: lmfao
- CASEY: Can we keep him oh my god
- CASEY: I have to go grocery shopping more often
- CASEY: Do they sell paint here?
- JACK: We sell food here.
- CASEY: Close enough!
- ESTHER: *still passed out on floor from where rosaline nerve punched her in order to keep her from killing poor jackie*
- ESTHER: ungkg *blink*
- ESTHER: HOLY CHRIST THAT GUY WAS TRYING TO KILL ME
- KASSIDY: Actually you were tryin to kill him
- KASSIDY: With a jug of orange juice.
- ESTHER: OH i was wondering why i was sitting in a puddle. I thought I had peed myself or something.
- ROSALINE: wOW
at first i was like ‘wtf who liked those posts i made, i am going to call the police and have them arrested for reading the things i write”
and then i realized that it was erika’s fantroll account
and then my cursor hovered over the link
my eyes shifted back and forth
a big drop of anime sweat formed on the back of my head like a tumor
my finger hovered over my mousepad—
and then i chuckled heartily to myself and i began to browse wikipedia articles for research
- Rosaline: GOD i love animals
- Rosaline: I love animals jesus christ they are just so amazing
- Rosaline: How can anyone think of eating one of these precious babies, they are so fuzzy and cute
- Esther: Hey Rosie, do you want some fried chicken?
- Rosaline: Goddammit I am a vegetarian
- Esther: Chicken isn't an animal dumbfuck, it's a bird or something.
- Rosaline: ...
- Rosaline: Esther--
- Rosaline: Nevermind, I have bean burritos for lunch
- Casey: omg
- Rosaline: Go back to your racist cave, you racist.
- *she eats her bean burrito*
- Esther: People who don't eat meat are weak.
- Rosaline: Do you want to fight me?
- Esther: ....
- Esther: ......no
After the escape from the Otherworld
Everything was silent save for the sound of heavy breathing. The air stood still, no wind rustling the tall grasses. The five children lay sprawled around the ring of mushrooms, the door that had so recently closed. Kassie reached for Esther’s hand, felt the warm sticky blood, and began to sob.
Ayda began to sob too, as soon as she heard the smaller girl start. The warmth of the tears running down her cheeks brought a sort of relief that had been frozen in the snowy woods. Crying in public was humiliating, and Hasim would tell her that she was almost grown and needed to be strong— she was too frightened. The sobs turned into wails that matched Kassie’s hysteria, long and wavering and high-pitched. She felt Casey wrap her wiry arms around her shoulder, felt the skin of their cheeks touch. “We’re alive,” said Casey, in an uncharacteristically soft voice. She did not exhibit any signs of fear like the others. “That was awesome.”
Rosaline, without a best friend to cuddle with, wiped away the nervous sweat that had sprung across her forehead. Her dark braids were matted with it. “Get up,” she said harshly. “Where are we? We need to get to a hospital or a phone so we can call 911.” She looked annoyed with Kassie and Ayda’s weeping, but worried about the blood that continued to spurt from Esther’s right arm. She crawled across the mushroom-circle on her hands and knees and yanked Esther toward her.
The girl was wide-eyed and blank faced. She did not react to Rosaline’s harsh treatment of her injured body, nor did she protest when Kassie’s hand was ripped from her own. Rosaline prodded the injured arm gently. The horned-man’s claws had left five great rips in Esther’s flesh and it bled freely. Already her fair skin was going a ghastly shade of blue. Rosaline shook her and Esther’s eyes rolled in their sockets.
“Ugh, mierda.” Rosaline pulled off her shirt. The three other girls watched her move in a dazed sort of shock. “You, Kassie, you’re smart, do you know how to stop your friend from bleeding to death?”
Kassie had covered her face with her hands and didn’t appear to be listening. Rosaline pushed her leg forward to kick her. “Oh my god get up, I know that you watch all those dumb survival shows, you just made snowshoes outta frickin twigs and shoelaces.”
Very slowly Kassie pulled her hands away from her face, and there were smears of Esther’s blood left behind. Her squinting eyes looked very grim. “I, I— give me that.” She reached for Rosaline’s shirt and took it from her. The darker child nodded once, curtly, and held Esther steady as Kassie ripped the thin fabric into strips and tied them above the elbow.
“Get me a little stick,” she said to nobody in particular. Casey tossed one that lay nearby, and Kassie used it to tighten the amateur tourniquet. Nobody asked her if she knew what she was doing, because they guessed that she probably didn’t— but an education of man vs wild was better than one of spongebob and dexter. They left well enough alone as she died strange knots, Ayda and Casey clinging to each other like baby monkeys that have lost their mother, Rosaline anxiously feral and worried for the survival of the group.
They had survived this far.
And she would be damned if they didn’t make it now.
After all. They were out of the woods
in child psych today our lecture was over adolescents involved in school shootings
it was really scary, and everyone became really uncomfortable and yeah, school shootings are bad and anyone who romanticizes them (i’m looking at you, tate langdon fangirls, you disturbing little psychos) needs to rethink their feelings, because seriously, that is the scariest shit.
anyways
how does this relate to bluebloods?
well, the first book is supposed to be a series of flashbacks about the girls when they were younger, accentuated by their present day conundrum of dealing with the ghost that is haunting their new house.
back while i was first planning flashbacks, i always wanted kassidy’s to be about her (age 15-16) planning to take one of her father’s rifles to school and shooting people, and writing about her plans in her creepy fucking book of death, but not going through with it because she understands that Esther needs somebody strong to look after her. This was supposed to reveal more of how utterly cold and calculating Kass is, reveal her ideas about how ‘filthy’ people are, and really get down to the nitty gritty part of how dependent Esther is on people with strong personalities, and how Kass knows this.
Well.
Kassidy does not fit the profile of a school shooter in that she was never bullied and she is female. However, being raised by a single father who is utterly in love with his work as a politician causes some emotional neglect, so I was going to explore Kassidy’s implied attention seeking behavior (and negate that theory of why she acts out—)
(—she acts out because she is a fucking sociopath it is really simple she doesnt have feelings and thinks that she is the only ‘real’ person in the whole universe, holy shit she thinks that she is the only person who ‘exists’ and fuck everything if esther doesn’t put a curve ball in there)
so basically
this is really disturbing to write about and it makes me feel really uncomfortable, because at least Esther’s adolescent storyline is about crushing on Ayda and at lease Rosie’s adolescent storyline is about surviving on the street
atrrhdmnlgk,
dat dub-con though
i
should i
take it down
i will literally die if my mom somehow finds it because of satan idk
the first drabble was bad enough
but
dub con
i
just
dont
know
what
i
am
doing
with
my
life
I FEEL ICKY AND UNCLEAN TONIGHT MAYBE I SHOULD TAKE IT DOWN
equal opportunity jokester
- AYDA: AAACHOOOO!
- AYDA: *sniff*
- AYDA: alhumdulillah
- CASEY: ...
- CASEY: rofl
- CASEY: did you sneeze twice or did you say something in your dirty heathen language??
- AYDA: CASSANDRA I am american just like you
- CASEY: THEN SPEAK AMERICAN
- AYDA: gkjglrjfr
- AYDA: dfdfsfdkjgfk this is ridiculous, mash'allah, and you are five years old
- AYDA: *flouces off to her fanfiction*
- CASEY: YOU'RE STILL WORTH TEN CAMELS IN MY HEART, GIRLIE
- CASEY: oh rofl i am the funniest.
- ROSALINE: *having witnessed this whole thing* wOW
- CASEY: hola mi amiga, burrito taco enchillada
- ROSALINE: you are a huge racist
- CASEY: stop being so sensitive, I am an equal opportunity jokester. I make fun of everyone equally.
- KASSIDY: *stumbles into kitchen, partially drunk*
- KASSIDY: dddid u guyknow dat when you die ur gonna be eaten by maggotss???
- KASSIDY: jeeeeeezus
- CASEY: omg haha
- ROSALINE: no
- CASEY: kass
- KASSIDY: *slumps into chair* im gonna kill u someday for real i hate ur guttss
- ROSALINE: ....
- ROSALINE: UHHHHH
- CASEY: you are so fucking adorable but *licks her finger and then wipes her saliva across kassidy's face*
- ROSALINE: that is really fuckin disgusting
- KASSIDY: *shrieks and crawls away like a snake*
- CASEY: AHAHA
- ROSALINE: no, you're just weird and mean.
- CASEY: so where's EStherrrrr?
- ROSALINE: You bully my girlfriend and I kill you.
- CASEY: ...
- CASEY: aaahhaaa
